Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Vipassana and Inception

In the movie Inception, the Japanese guy gets shot. The way to save him is
to send him into a very deep dream within a dream within a dream, where things progress very slowly.
where that wound is not an overwhelming solid event, but manifets in a slow sequence of subtle hints.
Last night, I felt a wave of sadness coming (related to some girl issue as are all my eupohria\sadness cycles in the last 2 decades:-) ). I knew it was going to overwhelm me into doing something stupid.
So I felt this strong motivation to go deeply within with Vipassana,
to a level of conciousness where this solid emotion, breaks down into a multitlude of small events in the body, a tingling here, a small pressure there. It's like going deep into the bottom of the ocean and waiting for the storm at the surface to pass.
I felt like the fear of sufferring from being caught up in that storm was so great,
the memory of pain of being caught up in similar ones so many times,
that my motivation to stay in this deep level was stronger than ever before.

Buddha says to his disciples in one discourse:  The amount of blood that you have shed by
being caught as thieves and beheaded by an order of a king, is more than the water in all the oceans.
This sounds ridicolous: the amount of blood we have shed, not generally, but *for that specific reason* being  that great? Perhaps just an exaggeration to make a point, I usually think.
But today I think, maybe not. It seems my lazyness, my impulse to look for perfect answers outside rather than inside, even after I have the tool to go inside, is so strong that maybe that is the amount of suffering you need to go through to truly relinquish finding a perfect life by adjusting external circumstances.

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Hi! I am a computer science postdoc. For some reason google is not finding my new homepage so I added a link from this profile