Sunday, March 31, 2013

They exchanged few words throughout many lifetimes,
but each word was a seed that was given the most fertile land,
abundant water and sunshine.
A tree with thick roots is growing.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Each time things become pleasant, we are tempted to think `Ahh.. I've finally made it. Everything is going to be perfect from now on'.

But life will continue to fluctuate between pleasant and unpleasant, until we fully internalize the truth of impermanence.
The liberating insight is that the slight irritation caused by someone slow in line ahead of you,
or an itch on your forehead, and the massive sadness caused by a girl who broke your heart or a loved one dying are different only in quantity, not quality.
Both are basically impermanent. Both dissolve with awareness.
Like a clean floor with a few cookie crumbs on it, and a floor covered with mud and food crumbs, the cleaning process is the same in both cases. The guarantee of success is the same: The more you have cleaned, and the less dirt you have added, the cleaner the floor is.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

I keep listening to these corny pop songs while I work.. always
with headphones..
I just thought how funny it would be if what I was doing was broadcasted
to all offices on the floor..
and people were thinking `Ohh.. again Ariel is listening to Hall of Fame by The Script*'
Wouldn't it be funny if what you thought you were doing in private for a year,
you suddenly discovered was being seen by everyone.
You would want to bury yourself for a moment in some hole..
but a moment later you would stop taking yourself so seriously.

Suppose there are angels above that are really bored..
and anytime you are about to do something embarrassing like hit on a girl,
or masturbate.. a beep goes off. They turn on the screen. And they start rolling from

*Which is of course an *AWESOME* song

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

This guy is so ridiculous it is funny

Monday, March 18, 2013

Totally hopeless

On the surface of things, people don't want to try things that they feel have a low chance
of succeeding. Like it's not worth the effort and possible rejection to try to talk
to a beautiful girl, if you feel there' s only a 1 in 5 chance of a positive reaction,
and say a 1 in 20 chance of getting to a date or a kiss, and say 1 in 50 of getting further.
But I think it's not true. If you really believed that if you try to talk to the next 70
hot girls you see, one of them will have amazing sex with you, if that was tangible to you,
the motivation for talking to the other 69 would be easy.
Like in research, from experience I know that if I try to think of a good idea each day,
probably once a year, I will have a good idea.
And that is enough to motivate me (well.. and the fact that I get paid for it)
So the problem is that we believe there is a *zero*-percent chance of something like talking to a cute girl bringing a positive outcome.
Rationally, we know it's not 0%, but that's how it feels
Or.. at least.. that the prize of staying comfortable, watching TV or something, is much more tangible to our minds.
So what's the solution?.. I don't know.. I'm just a lazy bum.. I can't be bothered with even finishing to wri
Same thing every day, every year.
I chase you, and then I run away, run away.

Somehow it's a surprise every time.
I know you, then you're a stranger again.

This time I feel,
could be different.
Cause you know so well,
how to keep me in love with you.

Every time I see your face,
I know you're the demon
whose going to kill me!

I gave you my heart before I was born,
I know you're the arrow
that's going to pierce me!

This year something different I feel,
I chase you, and then you catch me.

Baby let me be your slave!!
Wipe your ass on my forehead after every meal!!!
Don't ever walk around with a dirty ass, Baby.
I'll be the dirty one,
and you'll be my pure angel.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Our love cannot be touched.
You throw mud on it,
smash it on the floor,
ignore it,
starve it..
a moment later you check to see if it is still there,
and it reappears like nothing happened.

Like an enemy you keep thinking you've killed,
but then discover you have not left a scratch on him.
With time, you learn your best option is to make him a friend.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Baby, you're so deep in my heart,
I can't believe it could be.

Look how time passes by,
and I still feel you so clear in my mind's eye.

You're my perfect dream,
You're my biggest fear.
You force me to find a way out of my agony.

Baby, I can't help but feel,
you feel every word I sing so much more
than me.

It's just a shadow of me.. that sings these words.

Baby, I just live from dream to dream.. dreaming with you.

I really like the end of Matrix Reloaded.
Neo and the others did everything they were supposed to,
they overcame all difficulties and chalenges.
But still, the same problems are there.
Their ship is being attacked and destroyed.
 The centinels are digging, coming to destroy their city.
The same shit as before.
It seems for a moment that all efforts were in vain.
And then, for a moment  Neo stops running away and says
`Wait, something's different'. He sees he does not need
to run away from the centinels, he can  stop them with his mind.

I feel the same sometimes. The same negative emotions come.
Especially mid-afternoon - it seems to be the time of day were I
face the music, and pay emotional consequences of all my decisions.
For a moment it seems nothing has improved..
but a moment later I notice `wait.. something's different'
These emotions dissolve, through the meditation practice,
and through the surprising discovery that I always have you inside of me..
even at dark moments.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

This journey, such an adventure when you let it be,
leading you to the places you constantly tried to avoid,
discovering they are so different than what you thought.

Your thoughts about me, are my fuel.

Monday, March 11, 2013

The night has come.
I've relaxed. I've come to senses..
but again this urge drives me.
I must write to you, agan and again.
Must write with you, again and again.
The seed of this connection, through what magic did it get so deeply planted?

Will we one day wake up from this dream, to discover we have been
sitting, crosslegged, infront of each other all these years?

Saturday, March 09, 2013

He just let, he just let
his colors shine, even though they made no sense.

He just lived, he just lived
his fairytale, even though it had no promised happy end.

Just a laptop, infront of a running TV, not waiting anymore for
Israel to reach salvation. Salvation was just a pure child resting
inside of him. All colors were always protected.

Out of impatience, I turn my back on you.
Hypnotized and druged, I sit.
For an hour, 2 hours,
and then the feeling returns,
we keep walking, not all is lost,
we are blind and lazy and tired, but have already
been pushed in the right direction.

Out of wisdom, I turn my back on you.
Hypnotized and druged, the hours pass,
wisdom passes, addictions return.
It seems such a pointless life.
But at the right moment, wisdom and
pointlessness mix in just the right amounts;
poetry is created.

Out of time, I sit in front of you,
all that is left is two pairs of eyes, still staring at each other,

Friday, March 08, 2013

The 4 noble truths become more tangible, bringing seriousness, motivation and enthusiasm..
you realize more and more that suffering is so real, perhaps
the most real of all illusions.
And it also becomes more and more tangible, that the eradication of
negativity, the dissolvement of negativities can really happen.
That the change in life with each negativity dissolved, is real and tangible.

I had an interesting conversation with a fellow meditator on the way back from a course.
One interesting thing he said was that the reason the Goenka school is so harsh as it evolved in
India, and you got to yell at these Indians or otherwise they will just walk around all day.
So westerners, with guilt complexes and perfectionism, taking the course who take this harshness too much to heart should remember the teachers just want them to work, not stress themselves out.

Evolution comes in waves, and you need to relax and enjoy the journey.
Indeed the first thing I did after the course was surf in my favorite porn site.

The connection of mind and body becomes so tangible.
You notice how the pain in the leg arises together with stress in the mind.
It comes as no surprise anymore that the quieting of the mental reaction dissolves
the physical pain.

The practice is so hard, but you realize more and more it is *the* practice. At almost the same moment I want to do a 20 day course and cannot stand the thought of sitting another 5 minutes.

It is our basic misconception that keeps us fighting with the world.
Nature keeps trying to take the defilements outside of us. But when they arise on the surface we
fill discomfort and try to push them back inside, rather than let them leave.

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Hi! I am a computer science postdoc. For some reason google is not finding my new homepage so I added a link from this profile