Saturday, April 14, 2007

How to Catch a lion

Problem: To catch a lion in the Sahara desert

Reading Lion Catching Theory developed so far, I tried to come up with a few
methods of my own based on theoretical computer science.

The PCP method:
Ask an experienced (but untrustworthy) hunter to deliver the lion in a cage.
Convert the lion into a PCP. Now it is enough to stick 3 random fingers in the
cage and have them bitten off to be reasonably sure it is a lion.

The Conditonal Probabilites method:
We start by standing in the middle of the Sahara. At each phase, we either take a step to the right or a step to the left depending on which one will increase or at least preserve our success probability. Since it is possible to safely catch a lion in the Sahara with odds of at least one to a trillion, assuming the lion does not move while we are calculating, we are guaranteed to end up with a lion in the cage.

The arithmetization method:
The lion's action range in the Sahara: {Running fast, Eating a Lion hunter}
can be thought of as embedded into a larger range.
Now we can extend the lion from the Sahara to the entire southern hemisphere.
Going south enough the lion is slow and indifferent in the cold climate and can be easily catched.

I hope everybody is now convinced that it requires at least an MSc in theoretical computer science to safely travel around the world.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Math lecture psyhcology when an alien finds himself in a lecture on western culture

Lecturer: "So Cancer is a terrible problem. Many people die from
cancer around the ages of 50 and 60".

Alien: "Oh, so humans are normally immortal?"

Lecturer: "No."

Alien (thinking to himself): That was a dumb question. Everybody here
must think I'm an idiot. I guess I don't have the necassary background for this lecture so I should just shut up and not waste everybody's time.

Lecturer: "Here's an example of someone who's built a happy life: A good career, three beatiful kids, a great house".

Alien: Maybe this isn't as complicated as I thought. There's just a threshold
of achievement you have to get to without getting a disease or being killed and after that you've made it.

Alien: "So is this example tight?"

Lecturer: "Well no, some people have made it with just two beatiful kids
and a great appartment in a fancy part of the city"

Alien: "Oh, so is it known what's the exact lower bound of achievement you need to get immunity from disease?"

Lecturer: "What do you mean? There's no immunity from disease!"

Alien: Damn! I was so presumptious to think I was following. I 've made an
idiot of myself again and wasted more time for everybody! There's probably an advanced course I'm missing on how time stops the minute you've made enough kids and enough money. So, maybe he means you're never immortal as time passes but since time stops for you it doesn't matter-or something complicated like that. In anycase, I really shouldn't interrupt again as I don't have the necassary background on methods in popular western cultre for achieving peace and happinness

p.s- Anybody reading this Blog is encouraged to leave comments, I'm getting lonley here:)...

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Hi! I am a computer science postdoc. For some reason google is not finding my new homepage so I added a link from this profile