Tuesday, September 02, 2014


The weird list of 4 things that throughout years has consistently shown to have
a boost on my mood if I do them daily

-Avoid video - TV, youtube, ect.
-Avoid Masturbation.
-Hit on beautiful girls (oddly, this in itself has a more positive effect on my mood,
than having sex with them (in the rare occasions it ends up that way))
-Meditating 2 hours a day

I've been confused by this list.. cause there seems to be some kind of a contradiction between 3 and 4.
Cause it's kind of like taking one step in the direction of eliminating desire,
and one step in the direction of igniting desire.

Related to that , an analogy I had on tantra:
Think of 2 scenarios
1. You go into mcdonalds sweating in the middle of the day in shorts and a t-shirt
and get a Big-Mac

2. You go to a fancy restaurant, dressed perfectly, for a candlelight dinner, with
a wonderful woman who is also dressed amazingly. There is classical music in the background
and you have a wonderful view of the city from a window.
You are enjoying a tender steak of very high quality cooked by a gourmet chef.

You could say the second experience is more `spiritual' than the first,
but both experiences have at their core something that is non-spiritual  - eating meat.

Similarly, Tantric breathing exercises, postures, ect. can enhance the sexual experience,
and  given that you are going to have sex, why not indeed make it a special experience and a bonding experience with your partner;
but to say it is a spiritual practice when at it's core it's based on sexual desire -  the precise thing that spiritual practice is supposed to gradually dissolve, is misleading in my opinion.

btw If I had choose to #5 on this list it would probably be physical exercise , something I am only doing once a week lately, specifically Pilates in the last few weeks.

Anyway I digressed.
As for #2 on the list, for a long time I could keep it under control using a combination of meditation,
and this website http://www.stickk.com/
where you can define goals and even put money on the line.
But at a certain point I began to not take what I wrote on the site too seriously
(the credit card # I gave them also expired by the time I stopped meeting the goal, so didn't lose money)
But recently, Tim Ferriss created a community of guys trying to meet the no M goal -
actually he defined it as NOBNOM - no booze no masturbation, but I haven't been into alcohol for many years anyway -
turns out a lot of guys find this having tremendous positive effect.
This community of guys holding each other accountable has helped finally get back on the wagon
in the M category.
I recommend looking at the lift site.
This concept of choosing a few things that have positive effect,
and seeing the accumulative effect of doing the consistently (even ,say 85% consistently)
for months or years is simple and poweful..
and so different from the one I feel I was raised on by the media..
where most of the time it doesn't matter what you do,
but there are just a few critical moments, e.g., in Back to the Future where Marty's dad punches Biff
that determine everything.

Subconciously, this encourages us to spend most of our time doing nothing cause we think
all there is to do is watch TV and wait for that fateful moment when we open a car door and a guy is getting rough with the girl of our dreams, and we have to save our energy for that one punch we'll have to deliver.

I really like the phrase `Luck is when preparation meets opportunity'

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Hi! I am a computer science postdoc. For some reason google is not finding my new homepage so I added a link from this profile