Karma tales

I can't believe he's not calling me, and I'm sitting in this boring office,
and I've got nothing to do tonight but..
wait a second.. what's this?
What?? We're already recording?!

Yes. We're recording your average happiness level.
When you're done with this life, we'll send you to the next one according to your score.

What? When did you start?

Ohh.. the day you were born.

What?? So everything so far counts?
Didn't we agree you would only start recording when everything worked out for me?

Ahh.. not really.. though a lot of people assume that for some reason.

But it's totally not fair. How I am supposed to be happy before I get a relationship
with that guy I've been thinking about?

Well if I put a gun to your head and said do something that will make you happy now,
what would you do? Would you say `Ohh just kill me there's no way I can be happy now
without him'

No, I'd meditate, or work on one of my music projects, or math projects,
or call a friend, or give someone on the street a complement,
or volunteer at the meditation center, or write something creative,
or go dancing, or just smile at someone, or just take a deep breath and tell myself I'm awesome, or..

Well, then I'd highly recommend you start doing more of that stuff even without a gun to your head.. cause your numbers are not that great so far..
we're thinking of making you an elevator constantly playing `marry that girl' next time..

Ohh no that song has such shitty lyrics
..well being a higher power.. can you at least tell me when he'll call?
ohh sure.. it'll be next.. ohh sorry you're out of higher-power query karma..

what?? this sucks..