How can you every be happy without her, you think.
Is life just this miserable game where you are chasing someone,
and someone else is chasing you? Everybody trying to get somewhere?

Life forces you.. `Now it's your lesson'
Now it's time to just sit and feel the emotion.
Now it's time to learn not to be a slave of your emotions,
just let them pass through you, not to fear them.

And sometimes they come strongly.
One after the other, and not the nice ones.
Despair, anger , sadness,...

You go deeper into them instead of fighting them.

For a moment you feel the peace underneath,
and then another one comes.
Like waves in a stormy ocean, with brief interludes between them

Perhaps there is no shortcut. This is the way to dissolve you karma.
If there is a shortcut, looks like nobody has found it,
or at least not advertised it.

Otherwise there would not be so much conflict in the world.

Technology develops, but the world is not a better place,
just a different place.
Cause technology is just a set of tools, and humans use any tool
equally for good and bad, perhaps even more for bad.

If you could only know she is just another person,
not a goddess that can take you out of this life.

But you don't know that, she is just a perfect image in your mind.
And she is not coming to your rescue anytime soon..
all there is to do, is to sit and feel the emotion.