Sunday, August 10, 2014

Two movements of thought.
One, encouraged very much by movies, media, that you can spend the young part of your life in
is that your real life hasn't started yet. Everything is going wrong, but there's no point or need to do something about it, because it's just a sort of nightmare, and you will wake up from it at some point into your perfect life.

But years pass.. you're 30, 33, 34, 35, almost 36.
and you see the world, this life, is not going anywhere.

You see also, that although there is a lot of shit in it, it's not random, not arbitrary.
There are patterns. You behave in certain ways, and you get certain types of results.
and the patterns are hard to see, because your emotions only see this moment,
but the patters of cause and effect, in life quality, in relationships with people,
span over a longer period - from a day to years.

Finally you say.. OK, given that is my life situation, that I am not going to suddenly wake up from it,
how can I make the best of it.

Suddenly, you find a lot of satisfaction in small improvements..

like OK - when I was 18 I spent the whole year watching TV, jerking off, and perhaps not having one friend or date.

Now at 35, I only spend 20/30% of the time doing that, and I have 3 girls that don't run away when I start talking to them.

At this rate, things will be awesome by the time I'm 85.

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Hi! I am a computer science postdoc. For some reason google is not finding my new homepage so I added a link from this profile