Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I have more trust in life lately.
Many mornings it gives me pain and lonliness rather than
what I dreamed and hoped for.
But by the end of that day, I see how that pain and lonliness drives me,
to transformation, to evolution. I am grateful that what I wished for has been delayed by another day, so that when it comes, my capacitiy to enjoy it, my capacity to give back will be that much greater.
Instead of a comforting relationship, I am forced everday to climb a hill, get out of my inner shell, and talk to that beautiful girl I see.
Instead of being absorbed in thought, which is so seducing when things are pleasant, the negativity and pain in thought in unpleasant situations forces me to trancsend thought, forces me to be present in the now, observing thought from the outside, learning not to be trapped in it.
Slowly these things develop freedom, alignment with reality, inner peace.
I learn to relax and enjoy the journey, knowing from experience that when it is embraced, everday brings wonderful moments, so unexpected and different from the ones you dreamt about.

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Hi! I am a computer science postdoc. For some reason google is not finding my new homepage so I added a link from this profile