Sunday, March 23, 2008

Another Vipasssana

Just came back from my fouth Vipassana Course (see www.dhamma.org, hebrew-www.il.dhamma.org)

One thing that has become clearer in my mind after this course is - there
are no shortcuts for relief that bypass making a change in the deep level of the mind.
Phrased more positively, the most effective way to make a change for good in day to day life
is making a change in the depth of the mind.

To elaborate where I'm coming from: In the course you expereince sometimes very intense physical sensations and emotions, for me at least, a lot of the time these are unpleasent intense physical sensations and emotions.
When this happened, the following thought pattern would often occur to me- I have no aspiration of becoming some spiritual master or bhudist monk- why not just live my normal life quietley without getting into this deep intense unpleasent stuff?
Very quickly at the end of the course and coming back, still having the sensitivity from the course, it becomes clearer that this route is an illusion. I am telling a story to a group of people, seeing they are focused on what I am saying, I notice how much pressure I feel to keep their attention, and how much I am worried that I will lose it. Also, I am late somewhere and notice what intense Pressure I feel that clouds my judgement, effects the way I drive.
The point is this: even in everyday life when nothing extreme has happened in external reality the deep part of the mind, the so-called subconcious or unconcious mind, has intense expereinces-we are simply not aware of it happening.

You could say, well if I'm not aware of it what do I care? But these intense expereinces cause intense reactions, and a reaction is almost always, if not always, negative. These inner reactions add up and eventually manifest externally in unpleasent feelings and situations, that you will feel.
What I wrote so far may seem very pessimistic\depressing, so I'd like to stress that when I write stuff like this it also comes with a great optimism and hope. Hope becasuse I feel that with this meditation I am really dealing with the root inner problems that effect my life negatively. Thus, there is hope for real change, real relief, not just temporary relief that comes from dealing with symptoms.

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Hi! I am a computer science postdoc. For some reason google is not finding my new homepage so I added a link from this profile